Connections and Relationships
Riding in the car from campground to campground provides ample opportunity to contemplate the differences of nomadic life versus our sticks and bricks existence. One of the glaring differences I didn’t think about prior to leaving for this adventure revolves around relationships. I am blessed with a loving family and friends group back in Minnesota. I miss seeing and interacting with my fantastic co-workers, relatives, neighbors, church family, college family, and friends. My circle knows me, accepts me, puts up with me, and invites me into their lives as well. Our journeys have intertwined over the years, which creates a comfort that is hard to replicate. While my love for them hasn’t changed, being in each other’s physical presence is very different than a text, call or video chat. There is something to be said for sharing the same physical space as others and the energy and peace that nearness of loved ones can bring. I am one who needs my “cave time” too. Back home, I was easily able to balance my down time with my social self.
After a month on the road, despite being surrounded in campgrounds full of people, it surprised me how lonely I had become for friendship. James and I are best friends and I adore traveling with him. And yet, other individuals and personalities also fill an important void. After talking with a few other campers, I found that I was not alone in this feeling.
For those that are thinking, “just get out there and meet people,” we are certainly doing that along the way. The loneliness feeling is more complicated than simply making contact with others. The abridged version of our lives is shared with those who stop by or with who we meet on our walks … and Kaia is a proving to be a great connector of people. In those brief contacts we get to pick and choose what is relevant to the conversation and share the snippets of ourselves that we want that particular person to know. This creates a connection, however, it is not a relationship. I’m not saying that connections are bad, quite the contrary. I am learning so much about other parts of the country from those connections as well as ways to enhance our adventure. It is fun to hear other people’s stories and know that our worlds intersected in that moment. It has also shown me how blessed I am. For me though, there is a void when the interactions are all connections with very little from true relationships.
Travel has shed light into many of the nooks and crannies of who I am and this is another opportunity for me to self-explore. I have realized while physical touch is not my love language, I am filled up by being near others who know and care about me. I need relationships. I think that is why I enjoyed going to the different clinics and hospitals in my previous position and getting together with my co-workers in person. Online church did not fill me up as much as being in the congregation. Training online felt empty of energy, unlike a room full of interested adults. Working together, side by side, even when the conditions weren’t great (thinking about the EVOC track!), made the tasks easier and more enjoyable. There is so much synergy created by being physically present.
Humans are not meant to be isolated and while I like my recharge time, it is not how I would chose to live. A smile from a friend in person fed me for days. Hearing, “Donelle” in the same tone as “Norm!”- (Cheers reference for those too young to recognize it), filled me up for a week. For those that know me well, they know that I do not prefer talking on the phone. I need the whole message, non-verbals and all, to fully connect. Deb, my fantastic neighbor friend, and I would go for long walks and still end up standing in one of our driveways because we weren’t quite done talking yet. If I would have called her, I am guessing we would have been done in 15 minutes! Our relationship and physical nearness brought out the conversation that a phone call or text couldn’t do for me.
So what do these relationships have that the connections don’t? Thinking about it, and I am guessing there is research out there to shed even more light, my friends and I spend lots of time together in person sharing our life events, our thoughts, and feelings. Many times my friends and I have similar timing in life regarding kids, careers, education etc. Perhaps it has something to do with acceptance too. Those we park near or see in the campgrounds don’t know us and therefore accept us only as fellow travelers. The RV communities are built around a wide range of factors: full timers or not, brand of camper, people’s age, and/or hobbies, etc. We found a group of Vikings fans in our current campground and all watched a game together one night. You can find a group of likeminded people pretty much anywhere. When you are planted for a period of time, you get to know others so much more deeply if you both choose to take the time and energy to do so. You find out about the layers of others with their hobbies, likes, energy, etc. You develop relationships where people are cheering with and for you. Relationships where people actually care about you and your wellbeing, where trust is built and we all feel safe. The way we are choosing to travel, with our time limited to two weeks or less in the campgrounds, it is harder to form these types of relationships.
One of the reasons we are blogging and communicating on social media is our desire to keep our relationships by sharing our adventures as well as fostering new connections. Who knows, maybe these new connections will grow into relationships too. Connections such as the one with Steve, our RV mechanic friend who pointed out important things to fix, or Hope reminding us to cherish our time with each other because life is short and to not sweat the small stuff, or Daniel showing us that if there is a will, there is a way. All of these angels we have met gave us wonderful lessons and I am so thankful they came into our lives when we needed them most. The more I think about it, the more I realize that our connections have many purposes. These connections could morph into a lifelong friendships or stay a brief encounter that was impactful. We have had connections that were not pleasant allowing us to practice patience and forgiveness. Or connections where we wished we had more time to spend together.
There is so much opportunity on the road to meet interesting people as well as keep in touch with those wonderful relationships I already have. Instead of lamenting the loss of being able to see my friends and family in person, especially when loneliness starts to creep in, technology can be my friend to keep connected. This year on the road, I want to push out of my comfort zone to build new connections. These connections might foster new relationships. Regardless, I recognize now the importance of relationships and connections in my life and I am so thankful.
